


Grumpventure Time

by scornfullearner



Category: Adventure Time, Game Grumps, Ninja Sex Party - Fandom, Starbomb
Genre: Dragons, Fantasty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-30 16:53:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6432577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scornfullearner/pseuds/scornfullearner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Human Hungry dragon threatens a village. Egoraptor and Danny Sexbang are called upon to save the day! With the help of Ninja Brian, of course!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My husband came up with the idea of a foot barfing dragon that Arin and Danny have to fight. I took it from there. There is a reference to "Dragon Slayer" by Ninja Sex Party and how it's about a man who is simply trying to get laid. The story idea reminded both of us of "Adventure Time" so I tagged it in the fandoms simply because I was imagining the bright scenery and villages from the show. I hope you enjoy it!

A crisp breeze blew through his hair as Arin inhaled deeply. He and Dan had been fighting for three days straight. It was nice to breathe in air that did not smell of dead rats. It was also nice knowing he and his best friend could roam around and do absolutely nothing all day. He sighed happily. 

“Arin!” called Dan, sleepily, from inside their hut. 

“Hey, bro!” 

“You know what we need?” 

Arin made his way back inside. “What’s that?”

“Some fuckin’ donuts, yo!” Danny’s grin was that of a five year old who was just old that he could have ice cream for breakfast.

“Let’s go, then!” 

 

****

 

The two settled into a booth at Village Donut Shoppe. Dan practically inhaled two chocolate donuts. Arin’s were jelly filled. They quietly sipped on their mocha frappucinos and watched as the villagers window shopped. Everyone seemed very happy about the fresh scent of the air. It filled Arin with a sense of pride to have helped his townspeople live a happier life. 

An army of rats had taken up shelter just outside of the village. No one noticed for a while because they were docile creatures. Seemingly out of nowhere, the rats started stealing things from the people; mostly food. The rats began to grow to three or four times their size, which terrified the children of the village. Eventually, the rats grew too big for their bodies to maintain, yet they continued to steal and eat the food. Random explosions were heard. Some of them exploded inside the Village Limits, painting the buildings a disgusting shade of red. The surviving rats became hostile toward the people of the village because the villagers locked away their food. Arin and Dan had been called upon to save the day. They fought the remaining rats for days, then cleaned up the buildings in the village. Life was normal again. It was nice. 

A man with a wild look in his eyes came rushing into the donut shop. He wildly spun around until he met Arin’s bewildered gaze. 

“Egoraptor! Danny Sexbang! I’m so glad you’re here!” He was panting. 

Arin raised his eyebrows. “Um…so are we? What’s the sitch?” 

“I just got a letter from my cousin! She lives in The Next Village Over where a dragon has been eating people! It ate her husband!” He paused for a moment before taking a shaky breath in. “He’s not the first one, either. This dragon has been plucking people right up and eating them for days now! They need your help!”

Danny was bouncing in his chair. He grinned hopefully at Arin. 

“Umm…sure. We can help.”

“Really?” The man seemed shocked that they agreed so quickly.

“I mean, I have slain a dragon before,” Danny said matter of factly. 

Arin rolled his eyes. “Yes, we will help your cousin’s village. We’ll head out today.”


	2. Chapter 2

The walk from their village to the next one took at least two hours. Danny and Arin walked quietly as Ninja Brian stealthily moved through the trees alongside them. No one wanted to admit that they had no idea what they were up against. They just walked, taking in the scenery. Spring had finally come and the colors of the world were brightening after a long, drab winter. 

Arin expected to see buildings burning or some other form of chaos. When they arrived, however, the village before him was the opposite of his mental image. No fires. No one running around. The streets were abandoned. Curtains and shutters were closed tightly, though a few pairs of eyes peeked out as the trio walked past. They continued to wander the streets in search of…what were they looking for exactly? 

They came upon a large pond where they spotted a lone fisherman on the opposite side. His boots were neon purple and could be seen clearly from a distance. He waved when he saw the group walking toward him. 

“Maybe he can give us some clues,” Danny said. 

“Danny, Brian, stop,” Arin whispered through clenched teeth. He nodded toward the sky just behind the fisherman. 

What looked like a green blob floated closer and closer. Just as Arin realized they were looking at the very thing they came to get rid of, it swooped down and scooped up the fisherman. The man had been swallowed whole! The dragon, then, lazily floated away. 

Arin felt his eyes attempt to pop out of his head. Danny’s mouth hung open in surprise. Even Ninja Brian’s normally stoic eyes were showing shock and confusion. 

“We should follow it,” Danny suggested. 

Ninja Brian disappeared into the scenery again as the other two kept their eyes on the dragon in the sky. It flew toward a mountain, circled lazily around, and landed somewhere out of sight. A rocky path leading to the top was somewhat visible. 

“I guess it’s too late to turn back, huh?” Arin asked Danny. 

They adjusted their armor, which simply consisted of shoulder and knee padding, made sure their swords were in place on their hips, and began walking up the path. As they made their way up, they noticed feet and shoes scattered around. The amount of each increased the higher they went. 

“What the actual fuck?” Arin wondered aloud. 

“This is weird,” Danny muttered. 

“There’s a cave up ahead. The dragon is probably in there. We have no idea what this thing can do, Danny. Let’s find a safe spot and figure out our plan of action.”

Once behind a large boulder, Arin noticed Danny’s excited expression had shifted into one of fear. 

“Arin, I have to tell you something,” he said with a heavy sigh. 

Arin put a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Danny. I know you didn’t really kill a dragon. You were just hoping to get some booty.” 

Danny blushed. “That obvious, huh?” 

“Only to those who know you,” Arin responded, winking. 

Before Danny could respond, a low groaning sound came from the direction of the cave. The ground shook with the impact of presumable footsteps. Arin peeked around the boulder cautiously. The dragon walked out of the cave. It paced a few steps forward, just barely coming to their hiding place. It groaned with each step. 

“Oh, shit,” Danny whispered. 

The dragon stopped and turned its head to the side. It spotted Arin. 

“Fuck,” he breathed. 

The dragon began to make its way toward the two, now terrified, men. It was very different from what one would imagine a dragon to look. Instead of sleek, it was fat. It stood about ten feet tall and was almost as wide. It walked on two feet, though its arms looked somewhat muscular, as if they were used regularly to carry its body weight. 

“What do you want to bet he was the runt of the litter?” Arin asked. 

Danny barked out a laugh. 

That seemed to anger the dragon. It increased its pace toward them until it was just a few feet from them and groaned again before falling onto its front legs. Unsure of what element this dragon would blast at them, both Danny and Arin raised their shields hoping they were made strong enough to withstand whatever may hit them. Another groan came from the beast followed by a sort of choking sound. 

Something heavy made a thunk sound when it hit Arin’s shield. The force knocked him back a step. Another thunk; another step back. 

“Are those…” Danny’s voice trailed off. 

“What?” Arin brought down his shield. 

“Huuch,” Danny gagged. 

“A foot breathing dragon?” Arin blinked. 

“Ugh. I’m gonna barf.” Danny covered his mouth. 

Arin caught a glimpse of purple in the wad of grossness in front of him. The fisherman’s boots. 

“Danny! It can’t digest shoes! Or feet, apparently.”  “Oh, god,” Danny begged. “Arin, stop. Please.” 

The dragon stood up again and moved toward Danny. It seemed to be attracted to the sparkly blue jumpsuit he insisted on wearing everywhere. Arin panicked. Maybe he could distract the dragon before it chomped down on his best friend. 

He started beatboxing. It usually helped him focus. This time it would serve a second purpose. The dragon shifted its gaze from Danny to him. 

“Hey, what up bitch?” Arin shouted. “You got a thing for eatin’ humans?” What did we ever do to you, man?”

The fat thing turned its full attention to Arin as he continued to rap. 

“You think you can fly around eating people like you ain’t shit? How about you eat my dick?” 

Danny slowly moved around toward the dragon’s tail. They nodded, slightly, at one another. Ninja Brian’s shadow flitted around behind Dan. Arin felt a sense of relief come over him knowing the other two were working something out in their minds. 

“I know I can’t rap you to death, but you know what? I’m gonna try! C’mere, mother fucker! It’s time to die!” 

Danny started swinging at the beast’s legs with his sword just as it was about to lean forward to take a bite out of Arin’s life. Ninja Brian, who had crawled up a pile of boulders, jumped onto the dragon’s back. The distraction saved Arin, but did not come without consequence. 

As the dragon spun around in an attempt to fling Brian from his back, his tail swished back and forth. Danny was able to dodge the first two swipes. On the third swipe, tail met body with a thud. Danny soared backward into the rock they had previously been hiding behind. Ninja Brian, in a surge of rage, rushed up to the dragon’s head where he jabbed his dagger into one of the beast’s eyes. 

All movement stopped. A screech filled the air. Arin took the moment of stillness to plan out his next move. The dragon was still upright so a quick jab was out of the question. 

“Aha!” he said to himself. 

He made eye contact with Ninja Brian, motioned to his own chest, then made a stabbing motion in the air. He hoped the ninja would understand that he meant “find and stab its lungs.”

He did. 

The short dagger would never be able to reach the dragon’s lungs. There was simply too much mass in the way. But the jabs through scales and skin would hopefully, be enough to bring it down to all fours. Ninja Brian made multiple stabs as he moved down the dragon’s back. Each movement was crisp. Eventually, the dragon began to waiver. The right time to move was coming. 

Arin spared a glance toward Danny. He was awake. Good. 

Preparing for the most strategic moment of his life, Arin stepped into a runner’s stance. If he did not time this perfectly, they would all wind up on the lunch menu. He watched Ninja Brian make The Jab that brought the dragon down. 

He ran with all of his might, then threw himself into a slide that would rival a professional baseball player’s. He held up his sword at an angle he hoped would hit the dragon’s heart. As the dragon fell forward, its chest slid down the blade. Blood poured out of the wound. 

“Fucking jackpot!” Arin shouted. He immediately regretted it after blood splashed into his mouth. 

He pushed himself up and out of the way of the weight that was about to crash onto him. Dust and pebbles rose and fell with the impact. Ninja Brian hopped off of the now dead body. His eyes glittered with excitement. 

“Great job, Brian!” Arin held up his hand for a high five. “You rock!” 

A weak cough from Danny’s direction brought their attention to him. They rushed to his side. 

“Dude,” he wheezed, “that was fucking awesome!” With that, he passed out.


	3. Chapter 3

Arin and Ninja Brian carried Danny down the path. Villagers ran to meet them at the base of the mountain. They had felt the earthquake caused by the fall of the dragon. Their hopes that it was the end of the thing’s gluttony had been proven true. 

A handful of them volunteered to take Danny to the physician. Arin was grateful to rest his arms, but felt anxious about his friend being in the hands of strangers. While Danny was being taken care of by at least one doctor, Arin and Ninja Brian were ushered by a family to their home so they could clean up. They were bombarded with food and drinks and pats on their backs. 

Due to Danny being unconscious and Arin being bloody when the villagers met them, everyone assumed Danny was knocked out during the final blows. Arin didn’t have the heart to tell them otherwise. They were relieved to be able to venture outside of their homes without fear of being eaten. Ninja Brian simply glared at everyone for not giving him the credit he had earned. 

Danny was wide awake the next morning when Arin and Ninja Brian went to see him. He was able to move around, though slowly. He was declared “free to go” and so they left. 

As a final goodbye, Ninja Brian stood at the gate of the village and flipped birds with both hands. 

“Brian!” Arin laughed. “We know the real story. That’s what matters!” He threw an arm over the ninja’s shoulders. “At least in some part of the world, Danny will have actually slain a dragon!”


End file.
